Posts
So basically, we all have fights every now and then. Or
basically, they are mindless arguments, which we like to label as "fights". Now
if we lose that argument, we feel frustrated and angry and in the unlikely case
that we DO win the fight, we feel a hollow sense of smugness while the other person
then feels angry. Now what exactly is gained by this futile argument other than
a chance to smirk at somebody?
So yeah, I thought and thought a lot about why people fight
(I have a lot of free time), and the only reason I could think of was- because
we have nothing better to do! Actually, I think ego problems and
misunderstandings might also come into the picture somewhere, but the fact that
we do it to keep our mind occupied seems more plausible, and definitely less stupid!
Now, I have been in my fair share of “fights”. They are, in
my case, just verbal arguments that started off over some silly topics and
snowballed into a something much more intense! I mostly argued with my parents,
(the advantage of being fluent in sarcasm is that you can usually insult the
other person and walk away with your head held high while they try to
comprehend what you just said; sadly, the case is not the same with parents)
and after a few minutes into the argument, we don’t have any idea what were we
initially arguing about; but since both of us feel stupid to admit that, we
keep on arguing till we actually get tired! After which we just get back to our
own amicable self. But that’s just how we are; we know we were being stupid and
we just laugh at the issues and resolve to work at them. But I’ve seen people
who severed years of friendship over some tiny argument. Looking at them, I
really feel quite mature and intelligent!
I used to get pretty flared up too. As I kid, I would not
tolerate any attack on my ego, (that’s not to say that I’ve grown up and become
wiser now; but still I can tell when I’m being stupid) so the simple
conclusion, a large part of time was spent on being a recluse. I thought that
if people grew up, they’d become wiser, more mature. But then seeing adults
behave the same; argue and crib just as childishly, I realized that people
don’t really get mature, they just learn to pretend! So yeah, letting your ego
mar the relationships is not really a smart choice. Sometimes, you just have to
let go; compromise with your ego and adjust a little! I was really surprised
that ever since I started doing that, people more or less started bending too;
they agreed to what I wanted, and futile arguments were avoided!
Fistfights are even stupider. Verbal arguments get escalated
to physical fights just because of the inflated ego of the people! And the
funny thing is, just because two idiots are fighting, their friends join in too
and make it some kind of “gang war”. So it circles back to people having a lot
of free time.
People think backing away and running away are one & the
same thing, and that’s plain foolish! What they don’t know is that any idiot
can fight, but only a sensible fellow walks away from an argument with an
idiot. It’s a great quote that I read somewhere “never argue with an idiot;
first he’ll drag you down to his level and then he’ll beat you with
experience!” Words of wisdom, those are!
And I’m not talking about an intelligent debate where both
the people listen to each other’s views and have a reasonable discussion over
it. I’m talking a purely mindless argument where the only focus is on proving yourself right! It has been
rightly said, “Scholars assert, idiots argue!”
So yeah, next time if before I get into a fight, I’ll think
if it’s really worth fighting about. And if I do get into a fight with a friend,
I’ll admit that atleast I was acting stupid, irrespective of what the
person thinks. But then, that’s just me, isn’t it? (Wink!)
7 comments:
Now this seems to be a article close to your blog title "A blog about lifestyle and literature" . Now , this is what you quoted in your very first para " they are mindless arguments, which we like to label as fights" , I disagree on the expression used . It seems you are saying it as a two way thing , but that's not actually true , right ?. Many times its just one jerk head who comes out with something and BAAM ! you are in a "FIGHT" , and the other person might be innocent or maybe saying something right or trying to end it , but by the third person view it becomes a Wrestling match in which one has to get pinned 1, 2 , 3......*bell rings*.... and we have a winner .. ] I may be wrong but this was the idea I got after reading your blog .Maybe sometimes its just about cribbing over a certain topic , but to generalize it would be not a wise thing to do . Relations work on arguments , believe it or not arguments strengthen relations be it between friends , a couple , a child and his parent . Sometimes they may seem a little childish or something of that sort , but I am sure something of this sort might have happened with you too , you argue , you crib , ........ then you laugh ...... then the bond seems much stronger :), and the thing regarding fist fights , I agree to you cent percent .
And great writing , looking forward for your future blogs :) .
and i hope you take it as a "intelligent debate " and not a "argument" :p
I couldn’t agree with you more! Arguments are often necessary- to get the other person’s point of view, to understand new views and reasons for those views, & to get to know the other person better! And yeah, that happens with everybody! And a reasonable argument is one where you think you are right, but that doesn’t mean that the other person is wrong! And I also agree that relations do get strengthened after arguments, though not every argument strengthens this bond! And I believe arguments must either be rooted in reason- then they are just an intense form of a debate and would actually lead to exchange of ideas- or they must end up with both the arguers laughing at their own childishness, as is usually the case with me!
I meant the arguments where there is no logic in fighting; there’s no right or wrong- it’s like fighting over two sides of a coin! The arguments where, looking back after the anger has cooled off, you can’t even tell what were you arguing about! I’m sure something like that must’ve happened with you too!
And about an idiot suddenly jumping on you and challenging you to a fight doesn’t mean you have to turn it into a fight too, right? Think about it- if you allow him to manipulate you this easily, aren’t you suddenly down to his level? And it doesn’t mean you have to lose the fight either- you just have to give him the impression that he won the fight! And yeah, even then, sometimes you DO have to fight, just coz nobody should be able to suppress you! But I’m saying that more often than not, it’s better to NOT be bothered by these idiots!
And thanks for the feedback- always appreciated! :)
I agree to you partialy again , you are not getting the point , you still describing situations from a third person view .For example you quoted "I meant the arguments where there is no logic in fighting; there’s no right or wrong- it’s like fighting over two sides of a coin! " .Maybe this could be the perception that one creates who is not involved .Nobody likes to argue except some troublesome people the best example being Imam a big boss contestant :P.
And then you quoted "And about an idiot suddenly jumping on you and challenging you to a fight doesn’t mean you have to turn it into a fight too, right? Think about it- if you allow him to manipulate you this easily, aren’t you suddenly down to his level?" . What if this idiot is a good friend of yours , or he is your companion will you say the same again . NO ,right ?.. You would agree on this anyone close to you if came up with arguments or "fights" your initial tendency is to clear it out . And this is the time when this becomes a argument from a third person view , altough you are genuinely trying to end a argument or a misunderstanding . You cannot help it unknowingly you just jump into it but but its the outside view .
Well, you DID get my point! If you look at your fights from a third person’s point of view, you’ll realize that’s its not really something worth fighting over. Again, I’m saying that it’s not valid for every fight argument, and even the wisest of men argue for no reason at times. And absolutely, most of the people don’t want to fight; but many a times, for no reason, we find ourselves in the middle of an argument. I’m saying that you must keep a cool head then, and not say something in the heat of the moment, which you might come to regret later. Because it’s just like you said, mostly the person we’re fighting turns out to be our friend or companion. So yeah, what’s wrong with a little compromising, for the sake of your relationship?
I agree to you now , great article , great discussion . Looking forward for more of this stuff :)
Post a Comment